All my friends were looking at me asking me if I was okay. I just shook my head and shrugged my shoulders as I tried to hold in my sobs, so that I wouldn’t be disruptive and call attention to myself. I was so embarrassed; all of a sudden I was crying uncontrollably and had no idea why. Here I was in the middle of this sweet, spiritual gathering, literally ugly crying and unable to stop.
We had been singing Amazing Grace, and three quarters of the way through the song, I realized what was happening. I was being touched by pure love and true grace. It was amazing, overwhelmingly amazing, almost too much to take. The best way I can describe it is feeling as if I had been understood in a vulnerable moment by someone who loved me, multiplied by 100,000. This Divine Love was so intense, it made me bawl.
Through these tears, I found faith.
I had been drawn to visit this spiritual center in Brazil, and my intention, at the time, was to heal any of my own blocks to love and marriage. Sitting at this cool prayer gathering which included an eclectic mix of songs, ranging from hymns to “Let It Be” by The Beatles, and prayers and poems from many different religions, love found me. It just came in an unexpected way.
The next song we sang was one I had grown up hearing in Catholic School, The Saint Francis of Assisi Prayer. While I had rejected Catholicism for all its unwavering dogma and exclusion, I still felt comfort hearing this familiar song. And now that I had been struck by this Love, it had a new meaning to me. I hoped its message would stay with me forever.
Oh Master grant that I may never seek,
So much to be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand
And to be loved as to love with all my soul.
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me sow love…
When I went to Brazil, I had been suffering from the new age dilemma of not feeling like I had enough of a lot of things–love, money, etc–and what I got in that moment, singing that song was…
If this level of love and grace was available to me, I could never run out of having enough of anything.
If I could re-connect to this love and grace, I would always have enough to give.
If I could reconnect to even the smallest piece of this, I could easily be able to console, to understand, and to love others rather than constantly feel the need to seek it for myself.
When I got back from this spiritual journey, I wound up finding my life love, my husband Joe, just two months later. And, it was he who, ironically, got me back to connecting in with the Divine on a more regular basis by taking me to Saint Patrick’s Cathedral for Sunday mass. That church, like many places of prayer, has special energy, and I can sit there and feel Divine Love. I also feel it when I look at sunsets, do energy work with some of my clients, feel touched or inspired by a song or poem, and call in angels to help me with my day.
In a client session yesterday, one of my clients asked me, “How can I have faith that everything will be okay?” She had suffered with debilitating Lyme Disease for two decades. While she was able to live again and even went on a hiking trip with her husband recently, she was having trouble shaking the worry that it might come back when she had a bad day. She wanted to be able to have faith that her progress would continue.
I asked her to close her eyes, then I called in her angels, as I do in the short meditation below. She felt a tingle come over her body, then she relaxed and felt safe. Her meridians and chakras tested better, balanced after this exercise. “Wow, it’s that easy to start feeling this good?”
Letting go and letting God, having faith, can be healing on so many levels.
Putting faith and trust in a Higher Power that is greater than you is an important tenant of Alcoholics Anonymous and even previously atheist addicts attest to the effectiveness of having faith in a power greater then themselves.
While I believe in the power of the Divine, I also think that a large part of healing comes from just surrendering and letting go of control, too.
Dr Judith Orloff, MD writes, “Because I’m a physician, people often ask me, “What’s the most important factor in recovering from illness?” To their surprise, my answer is always surrender. Surrender basically means letting go of your need to be in control. It’s about opening up your mind to possibilities you might not have considered, letting your intuition guide you, and being in the flow of life.”
It doesn’t matter what you believe. Giving up your doubt and having faith you are supported is an act of self-love, and it can give you relief and inspiration.
Letting go and letting angels, God, or your Higher Power take your doubt and worry away opens up the space for healing or a new vision to come in. I invite you to try connecting with angels with this short audio meditation below.
Divine Love can be found in many places. You actually have an innate connection to it. Tapping into this Love on a daily basis is how you can have faith.
Faith as defined by “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” (Oxford Dictionaries)
Love is one of the few things in which I can trust. It gives me faith because it always makes me feel better, and it expands itself. Love begets love.
As the days become shorter and there is less light, can you bring in more love, light and faith? As tensions are running high in the current political climate, and conflict continues in The Middle East and in Ukraine, can you look for the Love in others and in yourself?
Finding it where it lives inside you can help you have faith in the power of the human spirit.
Despite the crazy times in which we are living, “There is much love for you here.” – Abraham Hicks
So much love,