This is the ninth anniversary of my mother crossing over into spirit.
I will always remember and try to live by the words of wisdom she shared with me on one of our last days together.
She pointed to the pictures of her granddaughters and said, “You have to let people be who they are.”
We are often so good at allowing others what they need.
Are you allowing yourself the space and the grace to be who you are on a daily basis?
Are you acting on what you want, or are you more concerned with making sure everyone else is OK?
As we experience the shift in energy during The September Equinox, I invite you to look at where you are focusing your own energy.
“Reaching the halfway mark on our trip around the zodiac makes it the perfect time to check in with ourselves and the direction of our lives.
Do we like how we are spending our time? Do we feel that our day-to-day routine is in balance with who we are and who we want to be?
The September Equinox also brings the start of Libra Season, a sign of the zodiac that is represented by the scales, and is strongly connected to finding our balance and the flow between giving and receiving in our lives.
Libra is the sign that also represents the self in the other, that is, the self that we show up as in the many relationships we keep.
This makes Libra Season a good time to also reflect on the relationships in our lives and what they may be bringing out or up for us.”
Without being conscious of it, we often treat ourselves the way we were treated in our formative relationships with our parents.
So, I ask you…
Are you being who you truly are and making choices aligned with your own heart?
Or are you reacting to others and patterns from your past?
What are you doing in your life that you may not want to be doing, to please others?
What did you need to do in your family in order to stay in their good graces?
Maybe your family values productivity, so you don’t feel good about yourself unless you cross everything off your to-do list.
Maybe your family valued cleanliness, and you won’t rest until the dishes in the sink are cleaned and put away.
How many of your desires or even needs have you subjugated to live up to someone else’s values or standards?
While my mom always encouraged me to do what I loved and to be who I was in that way, she also wasn’t so good about managing her own emotions.
I learned to focus on soothing her and the people close to me in my life before myself.
Taking care of everyone else before myself was one of the contributing factors to having chronic fatigue and also why I put off having a baby for so long.
I couldn’t imagine taking care of a child when I had a hard time taking care of myself.
It took years of doing energy work and feeling its positive effects to begin to know what I needed to feel good.
Today, as there is an even balance between night and day…
This is an invitation to look at, weigh out…
How much of your energy is spent taking care of yourself versus doing for others?
If you are tired, the to-do list and dishes can wait.
When you consistently subjugate your needs and desires, you cannot be your best self.
You cannot be fully who you are if you don’t take care of yourself and your dreams.
So, right now, place your hand on your heart, and ask yourself what you want.
It’s time to tip the scales and give yourself more energy and attention than you are giving out.
Maybe set a reminder on your phone, and ask yourself three times a day, “What do I want or need right now?”
If anything goes wrong, ask yourself what you need to feel supported as you face this challenge. Your heart always knows the best way forward.
Because understanding the dynamics that created the habituated tendency to put others needs first is an important part of healing it, I highly recommend ordering my pal and BRILLIANT psychotherapist’s new book, Too Much, A Guide To Breaking The Cycle Of High Functioning Codependency. It’s an incredible book! And like Terri’s Boundary Work, a must have for anyone who truly wants the freedom and expansion we all deserve.
Much love,
