Summer is here, time to pull out your sundresses, sandals, and swimsuits! For some, this can be fun and for others, anxiety producing.
Ever feel insecure about getting into your swimsuit?
Feel more body conscious this time of year?
I’m on my annual trip to Italy at the moment, and one of the many reasons I love vacationing here is because, for the most part, Italians don’t sweat stuff like this. With total confidence, women here wear bikinis at every age and size. Seeing everyone so comfortable in their own skin, I feel like I too can let go of my insecurities and enjoy myself!
But this wasn’t always the case for me, and I know some people avoid beach and pool parties altogether because getting into a swimsuit can be such an anxiety-producing event. That’s why I have created a Self Love Mirror Meditation you can access below.
You are not alone.
One of my clients was explaining to me how she could only wear long dresses in the summer and would never be seen in a swimsuit! She felt she couldn’t show her legs because of a horrible skin condition called, Junctional Melanocytic Nevi.
“Sorry to hear that, what is that like? Is it painful?” I replied.
“Oh no,” she said. “It’s just these big beauty spots all over my legs; they don’t hurt; they just look terrible!”
“Wait a minute,” I said. “Pull up your pant leg and let me see. I want to see if you are over-reacting about this. Everyone has beauty marks.”
She pulled up her pant leg to expose four beauty marks between her knee and ankle.
When I said, “They are gorgeous!” She started to cry. And through her tears tried to explain her feelings …
She couldn’t believe what I had said, because she hated these dark spots on her body. She had gotten in the habit of calling them beauty spots to try to help herself feel better, but they were just big dark moles to her. They made her feel ugly, and she didn’t want anyone to see them, especially any man! How was she ever going to find a loving partner with these ugly spots on her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG!
After I got her to rub her temples, breathe and to calm down, I shared my story.
I knew my husband really loved me and “got” me when he began commenting on some of my traits and characteristics:
- Like when he asked if I was upset because I was biting my lip, holding back, being polite versus saying what I was feeling.
That was the moment I knew; he was really “seeing me.”
- When he nick-named me “His Bean” because my waist goes in and hips flair out like a bean. LOL! He said it with such love; I could no longer fret my bigger hips.
- AND, when on vacation in Italy, as we were laying in the sun, he told me he loved summer because he got to admire his favorite beauty marks on me. His favorites were one on my toe and one on my calf. I thought he was sooooooooooooooooooooo weird!!! Quite honestly, because, like my client, I did not like them. I accepted them as part of me, but I really didn’t like those dark spots on my body. I even talked to a dermatologist about removing them at one point.
Thank goodness I didn’t. There would have been less of me to love! LOL!
Today, I actually do like them and think of them as my signature markings, just like my puppy has his white markings, in the shape of a bow tie that I love. I have my beauty marks, which my husband loves and which identify me. If he saw my foot under a wooden fence, he would know it was His Bean.
You know, I also used to hate my butt too! When I was in high-school and college majoring in dance, I hated it, because dancers generally don’t have big bottoms. It wasn’t until I was working as a fitness trainer and found out several husbands had bought their wives training packages with me because they wanted to see if I could help them get a booty like mine, that I started to appreciate my shape. The part of me that was once a source of self-consciousness was now an asset!
It’s really crazy how we can be so judgemental of ourselves and our bodies! And, it’s crazier that often the things we hate about ourselves, are the things others appreciate! Go figure!
So this is a message to the judgmental side of yourself to just cut it out! Every part of you makes up who you are, and, the person who falls in love with you will fall in love with all of you, not just your hair or your eyes! So it’s about time, you start accepting and appreciating all of yourself!
So it’s about time, you start accepting and appreciating all of yourself!
As you love yourself, you will attract people who got nothing but love for you too!
So much love!