Ever catch yourself stuck in a loop like this?
- I should lose some weight.
- I should look for a new job.
- I should start eating better.
- I should work less and have better life balance.
- I should save more money.
It’s such a small word… but it carries a surprising amount of weight.
We all do this. And it’s worth pausing to understand what “should” really means—because by definition, it’s tied to obligation and expectation.
Not desire.
Not curiosity.
Not excitement.
Obligation.
So even if you want the result, like feeling healthier or finding a job you love, the moment it turns into a “should,” it starts to feel heavy. Required. Slightly oppressive.
And expectations? They quietly close the door on possibility. They suggest there’s only one path forward, and it probably won’t be fun.
But here’s the interesting part…
Every time you hear yourself say “I should,” it’s actually valuable information.
It’s a signal.
A sign that some part of you believes this thing will be uncomfortable, difficult, or draining.
And honestly, that makes sense, right? The change growth requires is uncomfortable. It pulls you away from what’s familiar and comfortable.
But here’s what doesn’t work.
Shaming yourself into action.
Think about it, when someone tries to guilt you into doing something, how does that feel?
Heavy.
Annoying.
Resentful.
So why would it work any better when you do it to yourself?
It doesn’t.
In fact, it drains your energy before you even begin.
The next time “should” pops into your mind, try this instead; ask yourself-
What am I expecting this to feel like?
What about this feels hard or unappealing?
Because here’s the truth. You naturally make time for things that feel good or at least offer some kind of payoff.
You’ve seen this in your own life:
- You move your body when it feels like play instead of punishment.
- You make time for a networking event that is at a hot new restaurant you’ve wanted to try.
- You don’t miss your favorite TV show.
Why?
Because there’s something in it for you right now.
Play. Connection. Relaxation.
So instead of forcing yourself to do things you “should” do, what if you redesigned them?
If you can pair what you want long-term with something that feels good immediately, everything shifts.
- A walk in the park with a friend becomes exercise and connection.
- Cleaning or organizing your space could become your “reset ritual” with music you love or a show you only watch while you tidy up.
- Grocery shopping and cooking healthy meals for your week could become your catch up on favorite podcasts time.
Now it’s not something you have to do.
It’s something you want to do.
So, when you hear yourself say “should,” it often means:
- You believe the only path to your goal is through struggle
- You don’t see an enjoyable or rewarding way to get there
- A part of you doesn’t fully believe it’s possible
And that last one matters more than you might think.
Because when something feels impossible, it’s incredibly hard to take meaningful action toward it.
Instead of forcing action, start with curiosity.
What if, just for a moment, you let yourself wonder:
What would it feel like to love your job?
How would your days look if you felt energized instead of drained?
What would it be like to feel proud of how you take care of yourself?
You don’t need the answers right away.
Just asking the questions opens space. It softens resistance. It creates possibility.
If you are ready to step into new possibilities, I have one spot open in my Small Manifesting Coaching Groups.
Together, we open up new ways of thinking, feeling, and taking action—so change doesn’t feel like force… it feels like momentum.
And when that happens, the results can be incredible:
- Finding dream homes
- Leaving toxic relationships
- Growing thriving businesses
- Speaking on stages
- Living in alignment with what truly matters
If there’s something you’ve been wanting—but it still feels out of reach—you don’t have to keep pushing through it alone.
You can learn more and apply here.
It would truly be a joy to help you create what you want—with more ease, more clarity, and a lot more energy.
Only one spot available so if this is calling you, apply here.
So much love,
