What Italy—and a Swimsuit—Taught Me About Self-Love

Ever felt insecure slipping into a swimsuit? Self-conscious about your body?

You’re not alone—I’ve been there too.

We just hung a photo from a magical trip to Capri, Italy, and it reminded me why I love vacationing there so much. In Italy, women of all ages and sizes wear bikinis with pride. There’s a beautiful, unapologetic confidence in the way they carry themselves—no sucking in, no cover-ups, no shame. Just the joy of being by the ocean. 

That trip changed me. I stopped picking myself apart and started living in my body—not fighting it.

But it wasn’t always like this. I remember agonizing over what to wear at the beach. And I know so many people who still do. In fact, one of my clients told me she hadn’t worn a swimsuit in years. She only wore long dresses in summer, hiding her legs because of a skin condition called Junctional Melanocytic Nevi.

When I asked if it was painful, she said, “Oh no, they just look terrible. Big beauty spots all over my legs.”

Curious, I asked to see them. She hesitated, then slowly pulled up her pant leg—revealing four dark spots between her knee and ankle.

I said, “They’re gorgeous.”

And she burst into tears.

She couldn’t believe what I had said because she hated these dark spots on her body. She had gotten in the habit of calling them beauty spots to try to help herself feel better, but they were just big dark moles to her. They made her feel ugly, and she didn’t want anyone to see them! 

I felt compelled to share my Italian “Ah Ha” with her. 

I used to be self-conscious about my dark spots. 

But then, on our first trip to Italy together, my husband started pointing out his favorite beauty marks on me. 

Yes—he actually has favorite beauty marks: one on my toe, one on my calf. I thought he was weird at first… until I realized he saw something beautiful that I couldn’t.

He even nicknamed me “His Bean,” because of the way my waist dips in and my hips curve out. What I once saw as flaws, he saw as me. And eventually, I did too.

Isn’t it wild how harsh we can be with ourselves?

We zero in on every so-called “flaw,” picking ourselves apart—when so often, the very things we dislike are the things others find beautiful, even lovable. Go figure, right?

So here’s a gentle (but firm) message to that judgmental inner voice: Please, cut it out.

Every part of you—every curve, every mark, every quirk—is part of who you are. And while you may see imperfections, someone else might see something rare, real, and radiant.

Here’s a link to a free Self-Love Mirror Meditation to help you reconnect with your body and your beauty. 

It’s time to start living more like an Italian vacationing on the Amalfi Coast. 

Viva Italia, and Viva BEAUTIFUL YOU!

❤️