Get Over Your “Shoulds” and Enjoy Getting What You Want

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Ever get “the shoulds” and find yourself thinking…

  • I should really lose some weight.
  • I should look for a new job. 
  • I should really start eating better.
  • I should cut back the hours I am working and have a better work/life balance.
  • I should save more money.

We all do it, and I want to help you understand what it means when you hear this word in your head or in your conversations because, by its very definition, the word should is…

  1. Used to express obligation or duty. 
  2. Used to express expectation. 

dictionary.com

You may want the result of losing weight or finding a job you love, but inherent in the “should’ statements above is the connotation that it is an obligation, not something you want to do.

There is also a sense of expectation, and expectations leave little or no room for freedom or new possibilities. 

AND this is all GREAT information. 

Whenever you “should” yourself about doing ANYTHING, this is a sign that some aspect of doing this thing is unpleasant or uncomfortable. 

I get it… Change of any kind is inherently uncomfortable because it is a move away from what is familiar. 

But shaming yourself into doing anything doesn’t really work either. 

When anyone else tries to guilt you into doing something, does that ever feel good? You generally resent doing things you are guilt-ed into doing, right?

And this entire conversation is energetically draining.

So, whenever you hear yourself say the word “should”, can you please stop and think about what you are expecting in this scenario?

What about this seems difficult to you?

It’s easier to make time in our lives for things that we want to do or for things we feel will have some kind of positive pay off, like advancing our careers in some way or having fun. 

Who has found time to:

  • Go to a networking event when it is at a fun venue?
  • Work out because you were playing a game or moving your body doing something you enjoy?
  • Have dinner or lunch with a friend?
  • Watch your favorite TV show?

You do these things because they pay off in some way. They make you feel good. 

  • Going to that networking event could be fun, and it may help you make an important business connection.
  • Having dinner or lunch with your friend will be fun and supportive.
  • Watching your favorite TV show is an enjoyable break.

So, if you can figure out something you can do that will support your goal, like exercise, that also provides you with some other more immediate, emotional payoff, then you are more likely to do it!

  • Walking in the park with a friend burns calories plus gives you connection. 
  • Riding a stationary bike while reading a great novel or watching a TV series could make you want to get on that bike to see what happens next.
  • Taking a workout class or dance class that exhilarates you might inspire you to go back for more!

Please be aware that the when you notice yourself thinking or saying the word “should,” it is a sign that: 

  • You have an expectation that the only way you can get the result you want is via hardship.
  • The ways in which you see this thing you want happening doesn’t have any immediate positive energetic payoffs.
  • You think what you want is impossible for you.

It doesn’t need to be as hard as you think. I shared above how you can pair activities to make taking action on what you desire easier and more fun. 

There are so many fun and engaging ways to exercise and lose weight!

There are lots of really delicious ways to eat healthy!

And it’s way easier to take steps to get a new job when you believe it is possible to work in a situation you love!

If you don’t believe something is possible, it will be really tough to make it happen.

This is where shifting your emotional energy is key. 

If you don’t think something is possible, like having a job you love, please wonder, and be curious about…

How cool would it be if you had a job you loved? 

What might that feel like?

How cool would it be to feel that way about work? 

Just asking yourself these questions can shift your energy and open your mind to new possibilities. 

In my Small Manifesting Coaching Groups, I do just this, I help you open your mind to new possibilities for having what you want. And, I give you action steps which inspire action because they have an immediate energetic benefit. 

With this support, the members of these small, supportive groups are making incredible changes in their lives, like:

~Finding new dream homes

~Freeing themselves from toxic relationships

~Growing businesses

~Speaking at conferences

~Living lives aligned with their hearts’ desires. 

If there is something you want but haven’t manifested yet, and would like to have more ease and support, I have a few spots available in one of my groups. 

You can read more about the group and apply here.  

It would be an honor and a joy to help you have what you want!

So much love, 

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lara riggio

Lara Riggio is an Energy Intuitive. Her videos, classes, and sessions have helped tens of thousands discover and heal the mind/body, ancestral, and past life blocks which sabotage health and happiness. She is based in New York City, and works out of her Central Park Energy Center in Columbus Circle.