This really resonated with me, especially now, being a mom.
My pal and brilliant psychotherapist, Terri Cole, sent an email out today asking these important questions:
“How do we know if we are loving someone in a codependent way?
When we love someone, whether it’s a partner, a parent, our child, a sibling, or a friend, shouldn’t we do everything in our power to move heaven and earth for them?
Shouldn’t we put the people we love first always?
Isn’t that what love means? Isn’t that just being a good person?
Not necessarily.”
The biggest lesson I am learning right now as a new mom has surprised me.
Giving Baby James what he needs is a given. He lets us know when he needs something and there is no peace until he gets it, LOL. Once he eats, burps, gets his diaper changed, and falls to sleep, I am asking myself this question over and over again:
“What do I need now?”
I have been way more focused on taking care of myself then I ever would have been years ago before I healed my own co-dependency tendencies.
My pal Terri was the first to make me aware of some of my codependent habits years ago.
We were getting ice cream; she paid, and as I was getting out my wallet to pay her back, she said, “It’s my pleasure; can’t you just receive this and say, Thank you?”
Over the years, we have been friends, she has made me aware of the ways I was practicing codependency. My life and relationships have improved as a result of becoming aware of these patterns and making healthier choices which included being able to receive generosity and help.
Knowing the signs was the first step. And, I am grateful today for all her impromptu coaching on this topic. I am able to be a much more balanced mom as a result.
Love and codependency can often feel a LOT alike…but, the truth is, they’re actually really different.
I highly recommend this video where she and Mark Groves, another amazing relationship expert, share:
- How to know if you are codependent.
- The symptoms of being codependent.
- The red flags that might point to codependency in your behavior patterns.
They have created a very affordable course on this subject that I recommend as well. This awareness and healing has changed my life for the better, and it’s vital to having healthy relationships.
Check it out here. I believe the course closes in a day, so if this resonates with you, check it out today. My apologies for not getting this to you sooner, I have been in a bit of a baby zone. But, this really caught my attention, if it is speaking to you, check it out now.
So much love!
