Why saying, “No” is good for everyone.
In my last introduction class, one of the class participants welled up with tears as she told the class what she wanted in the area of love and relationship.
She wanted to feel more confident about believing she could successfully integrate into her boyfriend’s family.
She was in love with both him and his daughter, but was really worried that it would never work, because his ex-wife was making things very difficult and acting in ways that were hurtful and aggravating. We could all see just how much she cared for her boyfriend and his daughter by the tears streaming down her face.
This is a tough situation because she can’t change the set up. Her boyfriend’s ex-wife will always be his daughter’s mother, and if she wants to be a part of her boyfriend’s life, she is going to have to deal with this conflict.
It’s my belief that even when people are behaving badly, they are doing the best they can with the knowledge, awareness, and understanding they have in each moment. Everyone’s behavior is based on their past and the circumstances in which they were raised. We have no idea what people have lived through.
That doesn’t mean we should allow people to walk all over us, but we can save ourselves from a lot of stress and upset if we recognize that even hurtful behaviors are being driven by history.
I have seen Deepak Chopra and Ghandi talk about this, but I just love this quote from Carrie Fisher:
“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
So, I invite all of you to have love, acceptance and compassion for people who hurt or piss you off, AND have clear boundaries which protect and free both parties.
After doing a stress relief exercise with an essential oil while repeating the phrase, I can easily set clear boundaries with love and acceptance, that same class participant looked relieved and felt a lot better about her future with her boyfriend and his family. She was actually able to laugh about it after being in tears just a few moments before.
There is always a way to let people know they are heard, and that you respect their point of view, even if you don’t agree with it.
Letting go of any poisoning feelings first makes this much easier to do.
Please try this exercise and rate your resentment, hurt or anger level before and after you do it.
Repeat this phrase in the crossed posture, both a picture and a video are below.
It’s much easier to see this situation with love. I can accept _____________”s (add name) point of view, and express what works for me with love.
What the Crossed Posture looks like:
I have found “getting” this point to be key to having fulfilling loving relationships.
For more on this, come join my last intro to Believe Bootcamp this Sat from 10:30am -12:30pm. We will be working with essential oils and releasing negative beliefs which affect you having love and money in your life. This was a life changing experience for this participant and many others. If you can’t make this date, and you are interested in learning more about the program, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. As you free your mind from limiting beliefs, so much more is possible!
Much love and power,